I don't even know where to start. Life's been really boring during the holidays. Though yes most of the days I'm occupied, but yet I feel like I'm wasting my life away. What have I done that has brought me true happiness. What is true happiness? I haven't found it yet. Though the true and  best happiest times are that of the Lord's miracles and works in my life and just him being there to listen to me.

Holidays are just coming to an end right now, just afrew more days and ill be back to the days where ill travel 1 hour to sch and usually spend the whole day there and then an hour back home , and rest. That's how life's going to be from here on out. Nothing much of a excitement. As i close my eyes, and type these words, I;m just typing whatever comes to my head. Not looking at what you type but only checking when you know you have done a mistake, somehow this helps me to think better, thank to look at this page of all white and blank, the empty space below the words i've already written.

What I decided to do was to at least meet some of the old friends I've had, call them and surprise them, write notes for them on facebook, i really do cherish every one of my friends, especially those who've made me smile and laugh, no matter how small it might seem to them, it means alot to me. Though a certain friendship doesn't seem too smooth sailing anymore, I till know it's there, sometimes you'd wish that those previous times would be the same as now, the way you talk the way you guys encourage each other and just be there for each other everyday if possible. I'll try to do that as much as I can, to make the person feel loved or at least let them know someone cares. But sometimes you try so hard, that you just burn out and it's left to them to make the moves now, so it also goes to show how much the person cares for you. Though I do not like to have it this way, this was how it turned out to be. Those endless talks, end up to only a sentence or 2 in a day. Don't you ever feel sad when you see this happen in your life? People, do not let go of the people you love. Fight and protect.

I've really got to thank God, for all the miracles that he has done in my life during these holidays, a friend that I never thought i'd get back, someone who meant so much to me, who made my day brighter and warm, someone who'd make sure I'm alright each day to the best of her abilities. Somehow someway down the road, everything turned upside down on her side, and well that affected both sides, at somehow I couldn't make it better, and somehow it was silent and we've never talked for months? But something led me to just drop a text to say hi, i didnt expect a reply but I did get one, and it was in a way that made me smile. I'm just glad that she's alright now and things seem better and she seems stronger. So I'm jut glad that God protected her through her storms, and brought her back. I'm not going to let go again. You said you'll never leave and I'll keep you on that words. Thanks for everything you've done for me. I appreciate it! God also has blessed me financially, as my sister helped me to pay for my tickets to SMTOWN, which I said I won't go cause I've got no money, and I prayed for myself to be able to pay, but God does have his ways of having surprises doesn't he. I just thank God for loving me and always being there. If not for him, where would I be. Who would I be.

Had a really bad headache today, one where you really can't turn your head cause it hurts bad, the slightest movement you make causes you to crumble in hurt. It was so bad I couldn't take it, I just wanted to die. Haven't had a headache this bad for like super long. But thank God for my friend, who prayed and confessed that I'll be alright, and I was fine in an hour or so after, and this is the very same friend that I just got back in my life. Thanks so much once again, for your care and concern. Appreciated. Somehow I do feel weak now, cause I still took medicine just incase it acts up again, but at this weakest point, i somehow feel more alert in my head and my fingers are just not tired, but nonetheless, I still need my rest right, it's such a cold and chilly night, great for a sleep, but also it gets you thinking, as you lie down on that bed, feeling the breeze on your body. So I do hope everything turns out fine. Hope for the best.

"Remember, howsoever you are played, or by whom, your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God, you cannot say " I was told by others to do thus" "