Bestie and me while playing around!
Jiamei with her cool hairstyle for dance!
Service was just awesome, teaching us about building our own altars before God.
1. An Altar is a place of SANCITITY.
2. An Altar is a place of SURRENDER.
3. An Altar is a place of SERVICE.
4. An Altar is a place of SHAPING
5. An Altar is a place of SIGHT.
So yeah, somehow during service, I was really burdened, deep down in my heart, I felt alone, I just felt that what I'm doing now, is not enough. I felt the need to take a step away from the world, and just be alone. I felt I wasn't giving this world enough. I kept asking myself, " What can I do? What more is there to me, How can I do more for the Kingdom, as a Connect Group Leader how can I improve my members and help them grow. ?" Aside from all that, I felt a longing, a longing for the touch of God once again, I was mixed with all kinds of emotion. I somehow felt a sense of unbelonging. I felt that I'm the kind of person, who would come, make someone happy, and then leave. I felt unappreciated. Most of my relationships with people have been as such, only being there for that moment of their need and then never again. But then, I also find the beauty in such things. I was troubled with all these feelings till the night ended, I cried out to God for help, to make me stronger and more spiritual and to help me walk in His ways, cause I felt that I almost have lost my sight of a goal. I was walking aimlessly. But then again, this song came up while I was feeling all these.
I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet but
At your Word Lord, I'll receive Your
Faith to walk on oceans deep
And I remember how You found me:
In that very same place
All my failing surely would've drowned me
Still You made a way
You are my freedom
Jesus you're the reason
I'm kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life, here in my life?
You have said that all the heavens
Sing for joy at one who finds
The way to freedom, truth of Jesus
Brought from death into His life
And I remember how You saw me:
Through the eyes of Your grace
And though the cost was Your beloved for me
Still you made a way!
It really spoke to me, at that time. Though as much as I try to be like Jesus, sometimes you will feel really hard to act as such after a long time, but then again, we have never walked on water or felt the waves beneath our feet, but through faith and His Word, we have to know that we actually have overcame many things, many oceans. We have crossed over the big storms. I also came to remember the first time God found me, the very same place I gave my life to Christ, the very same place I was on my knees, the very same place God hugged me. That was the time I will never forget. You have to understand that my life then wasn't what you expected. Most of you won't know cause I don't share that part of my life. But thanks to God, I've become who I am now. So, I ask myself, Where would I be without Jesus, I would be somewhere, being a guy who doesn't give a single crap to anyone, living without a purpose, living without a dream. Just living for the sake of living or who knows, I might not even be living, given my circumstances I might have due to the past. But I also came to remember how God saw me, through the eyes of his Grace, I know what more I can be.
Sometimes, we feel inferior to others, we see them and we say, " wow, how can I be like them? " They seem so much better in every possible way. We have to know that we were all made in His image. We are who we are by the Grace of God. You are perfect in God's eyes, so do not worry about others, and how well they do or how good they are, because everyone has a part to play in His Plans, and each one of us are important. He will never let you go, His Love will never fail you, though we might see that we are not getting anywhere, we feel lost in life, it is just that we've been drained out, so what we have to do is to come back to the altar, and let the fire of God consume us once again, to spark that dream and vision again. Always ask this to yourself, if it weren't for you, what good things that has come to pass, wouldn't exist anymore. People's life that you've impacted brought them to their salvation, never happened. It's not about us in this world, it's about God's plans. What we do we do it for Him. Always giving him the highest honor and praise for everything that good that happens through you. Do not be in a hurry, to do all the good things in such a short time, do it slowly one at a time, through small beginnings, God will multiply time and success into something great. We tend to see others, and we will be like " I want to get there" but then, the way to get there isn't easy as 1.2.3. Always have passion, and faith and love in what you do, that you may grow that part of your life into something great that will glorify God. But the most important of all these, is to always pray and worship Him. We have to come to Him first before we do anything. By this it also means building your own altar. Another meaning to this would be Quiet Time for some of you. That part of heart, that is reserved for God and Him alone. Where you can commune and fellowship with Him. So never feel that you are below others, that you are never good enough, because in God's plan, you are as important as anyone else. Like a house of cards, build to the top, through hard work and patience, but the moment if one falls at the bottom,or even along the way if one drops and pushes the other, the whole structure falls. It is because each one of us are connected, the people we build up the people we help, and the people that help up reach the top, if we waver and lose faith and sight, everyone is affected. So remember that we are the Child of God and our identity is will keep us going. Because if you know you are the Child Of God, you will pray, you will have faith, and you will love.
God will use you as vessel for His works. That makes you something precious. As youths, you guys still have so much more in store, more great works to do, more encounters , more creativity, when we start young, we always reap greatly in the future. Do not despise your youth my friends, for you are worthy, and you are made perfect by the grace of God. Be an example to the believers in the world, in conduct, in love, in faith, in spirit and in purity. 1 Tim 4:12
Through all these words, God actually answered my very own problems I noticed. I typed just as words came to my head. God sometimes does wonderful stuff like this! Thank You Lord, for you everlasting love and the ways that you help me with my troubles. All praise to you Father.